The Swamp Prince Action figure
The Swamp Prince is among the world’s most enduring symbols of our untouchable elite class with its vast network of enablers in the US Federal government and mainstream media. Our lovingly hand-crafted figurine expresses the Ivy League ideal of the Philosopher King and corruption as a way of life. Magnificently sculpted and hand painted with every attention to detail, this 5″ tall figurine is cast from premium Chinese, Qatari, and Ukrainian collusion resin and is modeled directly from the authentic images of the prince.
The Swamp Prince is the most powerful influence deity that money can buy. This limited collector’s talisman is a must addition to the patronage shrine of any DC grifter.
The Invisibility Cloak
The Invisibility Cloak is a magical artifact used by the Swamp Prince to walk through walls and render himself invisible to the DOJ, law enforcement, legal scrutiny, and the media. The everlasting invisibility cloak won’t fade with age nor wear off and is not dependent on his father—King Brandon—being in or out of power. The magical mesh is woven out of rare griftium fibers by the MSM, Big-Tech, and the fact-checking industry and provides an extra level of protection that no ordinary commercial invisibility cloaks such as the one worn by Jeffrey Epstein could.
The Family Dog
Cyka (Russian pronunciation: Suka) is the Swamp Prince’s little lapdog. She’s always busy shielding him/the family by spiking criminal investigations like when his sister-in-law—who he was having sex with in public—threw his loaded handgun into an open garbage bin in a restaurant or when he returned a rental car with a crack pipe and a bag of cocaine.
The Prince and his family can always count on their little Cyka to enable the family grift enterprise.
Depending on your angle of view, this exquisite 3″ reproduction displays a wide range of extrajudicial capabilities guaranteed to elicit awe in any law-abiding citizen. Rotate her slowly and discover how she morphs from the DOJ-FBI to the US Secret Service, the US Intelligence Community, and the mainstream media.
The grift shrine
Are you failing to secure that multi-million-dollar kickback or foreign bribe? Do you need the DA to drop the pedophilia charges? Are you unable to make the down-payment on the mansion in the Hamptons? Are you having difficulties landing that seven-figure job in the private sector? Have no fear, with the Swamp Prince grift shrine all of your prayers are as good as granted.
Our portable shrine is powered by the MSM, the US Federal government, some of the largest US law firms, and foreign influence.
Your wish is the Swamp Prince’s command, just place his favorite offerings (plus 10% for the big guy) on the tray, light the incense, recite your prayer, and let the good times roll.
The Presidential Stickers
Become a social warrior and an agent for progressive change using street art activism. Raise your fist in raga and speak the truth to authority with these high-impact, thought-provoking messages.
Rendered on exquisite, eco-friendly organic vinyl with fade-resistant non-privileged archival ink, these bold 3″ stickers are guaranteed to make a dramatic statement. Our vintage art celebrates King Brandon’s many achievements and showcases one of the world’s greatest grifters and tools by celebrating a few famous events in his life of corruption, abuse of power, duplicity, and subversion.
Each sticker is lovingly reproduced and is suitable for framing or direct attachment to any public bathroom surface. Let’s go Brandon!
The Laptop from Hell
The Swamp Prince art exhibition sold some pieces for $500,000. The word is that Georges Berges, the Chinese sponsored art dealer who managed the LA gallery sale kept the names of the buyers confidential—even from the Swamp Prince himself. As the paintings sold, hundreds of thousands of dollars magically appeared in his bank account (a clever way to evade influence selling and money laundering charges). A. S. Kisser, the NYT art critiques who reviewed the artwork wrote:
“Ab$olute work of geniu$! I find this art menacing and playful because of the disjunctive use of the concrete and abstract elements to activate the larger ensemble of what to the untrained eye just looks like a dirty napkin.” And,
“Rocked me to my core! With regard to the question of subject and content, the disjunctive spatial relationships of this objet d’art brings together the deplorables (dirty part of the napkin) and the juxtaposition of the progressives (clean part of napkin) and the artist’s alchemical ability to turn any object into money.”
Now, you too can own a reproduction of “The Serviette,” one of the Swamp Prince’s thought-provoking masterpieces. Our luxurious museum-quality memento is meticulously recreated on used eco-friendly napkins sourced from our favorite Chinese restaurant’s garbage dumpster.